I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize