Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We need to get me chipped asap
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
