You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
