im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
