my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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