Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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