I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize