Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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