You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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