I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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