I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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