it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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