i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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