return my video game
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
