Dual....:-)
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
