Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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