When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
