All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
