Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
