it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
