Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
