Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
