Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize