Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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