Pappa wants mamma naked
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
