I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize