And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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