i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
