There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
