please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
