Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
