this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
