question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
