some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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