when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
