so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
