I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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