But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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