so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
