So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
