just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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