My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
