You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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