Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
