she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
