I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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