there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i've created a new STD.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just want nice things and good sex
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
