I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
