I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
