Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
