I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
