just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
