this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
