You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
