there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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