have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fuck appropriateness.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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