sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize