Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
