I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
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