you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
