Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
