i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
