Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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