i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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