seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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