Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
