just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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