Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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