she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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