the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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