you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
