I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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